I am trying really hard to learn to like February.
I already yearn for these blooms, which often open this month:
Indeed, the snowdrops are emerging slightly; I see hints of white amid the tufts of deep-green leaves. The winterhazel buds haven’t really swelled just yet, though. Some years, we have hellebore and dwarf irises in February–it isn’t entirely drab, grey, chilly, and wet for 29 days. Reminding myself of that helps a little. Why, we had one warm and sunny day earlier in the week! The flies and stinkbugs buzzed about drowsily, and the birds made a little more noise than usual.
But part of me says–oh, wait a bit. There could be plenty of snow in March.
How to allay the anticipation-stress that sits heavily on me, body and soul, this month?
J. P. Seaton’s translation of Han Shan (I own a copy of this book):
There is a man who makes a meal of rosy clouds:
where he dwells the crowds don’t ramble.
Any season is just fine with him,
the summer just like the fall.
In a dark ravine a tiny rill drips, keeping time,
and up in the pines the wind’s always sighing.
Sit there in meditation, half a day,
a hundred autumns’ grief will drop away.
I am not much for sitting in meditation, but Han Shan suggests it might do me some good–so that the griefs fall away, so that any season is “just fine” with me.
Worth a try…
–anyway, it’s a short month.
I am so with you. I always get a bit of brightness/ relief at the end of Feb., when we have a Feb break, but this is not an easy month.
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